Owning It, On A Wednesday
I could say that today, Wednesday (my worst day of the week), was a much needed day off, but it sounds a little ridiculous considering that I have only worked one day this week. I will say that today was a different type of day off. Like all Wednesday's, I woke with a smile on my face anticipating a great day. I usually need to give myself a pep talk:
Today was no different, but today something WAS different. I taught three yoga classes in the morning: my regular scheduled PreHab for Athletes, a subbed class and a session for some summer campers (one of whom is my lovely birdie, Ava). To my disappointment, coach pushed off my track workout to tomorrow. I guess it's my own fault. Coach says (in my head), if you took Monday as a rest day, ahem, like I said, instead of hiking 5 miles, you'd be doing speed work today. Coach says, (in my head) you can't do a quality track workout today cause you suck; but tomorrow, I will kick your ass. Fine.
Although I was miles from home, I had my spike bag packed with gear ready for any workout. I parked at the covered bridge (damn, I hate this place) and quickly changed in my already sweltering car. While waiting for my watch to grab a signal, I tucked my key FOB into my back pocket and laced up my new kicks (thank you, Skechers Performance for my 50% off coupon). I was already warm from the three yoga classes I taught that I just pressed 'play' and took off.
Despite the high temps and humidity, a lot of people were out on the trail. I continued to shave time off my pace with each mile — an extended warm-up as the appetizer for a small plate of fartleks. I'm not sure at what point in my run I was reminded, but it happened. I spotted a faded blue arrow at my feet. My route followed the direction of the arrow so I carried on. The arrow looked something like this:
How could I have forgotten? Silly me. I was following a leg of the marathon route; the marathon I lost. And yup, I'm doing it again. The realization of that blue arrow peeking into my life again made me sick to my stomach. I ran a bad race, one that I feel will haunt me forever. I acknowledged the negative thoughts, but didn't let it affect my pace. I accepted the possibility of not having a good shot at owning the course. Strangely, I was okay with all of that. I want to run that race just to have a good race, independent of time. Is that too much to ask? I always hated that trail, even before the marathon. It's a hot spot among local runners; my love of running was practically born there for crying out loud. Maybe its time I take it back; quit my bitching and just own the Goddamned parkway.
I ran 4 1/2 heat soaked miles in my least favorite place. Maybe this time, after all this time, I actually enjoyed the location. Maybe.